Sad, Emotional?

Hey me, currently I'm feeling a little down. Like hormonal. I think it's because I'm growing. Either that or school is already crawling up my neck and giving me anxiety as well as stess. Currently I'm feeling like you know that I'm unmissable. Shit I just got a bit emotional. The sia lyrics I relate to right now is 

All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town 

I'll do it 'til the sun goes down and all through the night time 

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'll tell you what you wanna hear 

Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear 

It's never the right time, yeah, yeah 

I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am 

I put my armor on. 

However I am listening to eye of the needle. Wow. My eye is hurting. 

Some person not going to name names but they're really pushing the limits of being thrown of out there own brain. 

Talking of brain I've been talking to myself in my head more than often. I mean it's not a bad thing it's not like there's more than one voice. But I have been trying to cut down. 

Also for some weird reason I have been getting the best ideas from waiting on the sideline at PE. It makes no sense but I think about the weirdest things. For example why footballers are so old looking and ugly. I mean I'm not 'hot' or 'cute' and I definitely have major body issues. It's a work in progress. 

Oh and another thing I have been getting increasingly bad at remembering names. 

I hope I do read this back and laugh. Laugh and let live I supposed. 

Hey so it's the next day and I'm still not feeling too good. I don't want to be seen, noticed, look at, thought about or have any attention. I have been feeling this way for about a week. I'm fed up of talking and thinking about me. People noticing things about me such as my hair or my weight. Even though I may think bad of people all the time most of them are. Now you can just say 'why don't you just cut your hair to have normal hair' well that's because I don't want to. I me. My hair is quite the only thing I like about me at the moment. I hate emotions. 

I posted something on my Snapchat story last night and I felt like it was selfish and nobody cares about me. Which they don't since most of the people skip through them. However I just thought what my group of friends would say 'yeah well how do you think girls feel every month'. 

I really hate it when feminists use periods as to why women should be treated higher than any other gender. It's like nobody has said 'oh I bet it doesn't hurt' or 'get on with it' I'm sure everyone has sympathised. Men don't choose not to have periods. It's like time using my hearing problem as a reason as to why i should be treated more supremely to others just because I or no one else chooses. 

Anyway here's the snap from my story. 

 

Oh and here's an updated picture of me. 

 

Yep you wouldn't want to look like me! 

Oh and another thing, I've become more jealous of other people's lives and how busy they're and places they're going or things they're buying and they all look so happy and don't even have time to feel sad. I've got too much time. I've got no money. I've got no where to go to make me busy.

If you would like to donate to me,please pay honestly because we all know charities are a lie (read my previous blogs) if you work for a charity TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU CAN! THERE'S ALREADY A CURE FOR CANCER! HEMP OIL! Donate generously at- https://uk.gofundme.com/marky Do you want to laugh at me and my old YouTube videos? Go to www.youtube.com/binityandmarkamo Like I always say if there is a topic that you would like me to rant about when i'm tired or very emotional please do comment them below. I always do my best to spell things right. Need any help I can offer a bias opinion on any questions you have just message me on instagram - itgoesnomanomanom BYE XOX.