Death...

Disclaimer

For starters I just want to say that this is not a death note or anything, i'm just sharing some thoughts. Not in anyway am I suicidal.

My Thoughts 

Okay, i've just watched a film I think its called last Vegas really good film would recommend if you have netflix. Anyway the basic storyline is there's 4 men and they're all old and were best friends when they were young, one of them is getting married and it they went to Vegas for a bachelor party.

I'm 15, I stay inside as much as I can. I am not afraid of the outside. I just don't know what to do or who to see when I am out. Also I really don't have the energy. I'd love to go somewhere with my friends like to a concert but I bet most of their Mum won't approve of it and say no. The other reason why I don't go out much is because you always need money for stuff like that. I should really get a job. I love cooking but I can't get a job in selling or making food for a specific reason that I only tell my friends. Then if my friends are feeling like making my life hell then they will tell everyone else. Or tease me with the thoughts of it. 

So... why am I titling this death.... I don't really have much to live for do I, I am a 15 year old teenager that's only ever been in 1 relationship, not popular nor am I 'good looking'. I am not going to commit suicide because I just want to see what is ahead of me and my life.

Aspirations In life...

In the Sims 4 you can make the Sims personality that they love money basically. I think I have that trait in real life because a certain amount of money doesn't seem enough. When i'm older I want to be a billionaire not because I think that it will make my life any better or happier. It's purely for the fact that I want to buy properties rent them out and pass them on for family generations. 

Now judging on my families luck that is highly unlikely going to happen but it's just a dream and one some day I hope i'd achieve.

Quietness...

I love the sound of nothing, just the sound of silence my thoughts always intrigue me. So sometimes I just lay there, thinking of all the things that could happen but i'm just there not making it happen. 

Job....

When i'm older I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but when I grow older I want to be a camera man for the BBC and maybe some films. That of course isn't going to make me a millionaire. I don't understand the path that I have to take to get there.

Readers....

Like I always say if there is a topic that you would like me to rant about when i'm tired or very emotional please do comment them below. I always do my best to spell things right. Need any help I can offer a bias opinion on any questions you have just message me on instagram - itgoesnomanomanom BYE XOX.